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Post by Game on Jul 13, 2010 22:49:11 GMT -5
Go Time!
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Post by lyriscologist on Jul 15, 2010 23:38:47 GMT -5
Every Bullet Has Its Story...
Envision what we Do, when we Pop an let the Fourty Blow,
Wish it wasnt True but its Ironic how the Story Go..//
Livin down the Block, was this Kat his Name was John,
used to Kick it wit um Strong until he Had to Aim a Glock..//
he's Witnessin the Wrongs, of a Family Facade,
so he Hid in the Garage, when his Dad would Beat his Moms..//
wasn't Something to Discuss I never Mentioned it at All..
like the Front that he put Up but I Remember what I Saw..//
with Punch in after Punch until he Stepped up to his Pops,
..Enuff became Enuff until it Ended with a Shot!//
"what'd ya do john NO! this Aint, the Way we Go,
this Game, is Ancient Old, they Say, it Takes ya Soul"//
"u can Plan to Run it Out, putcha ya Foot into the Race..
Understand u Fuked up Now and they will Cook u in the Cage!"//
the Man is Comin Now.. theyre Puttin up the Tape..
as I Stand Amongst the Crowd.. Lookin in Disgrace..
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Shadow
Still Standin
NHV Open Mic Champ
Peace Universal
Posts: 69
Text Record: 1-0
Mood: Creative
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Post by Shadow on Jul 16, 2010 3:17:12 GMT -5
All I'm gonna say is,...
Dude I'm a fan!
Peace
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BuzzKill
Still Standin
Text Battle
2 - 2
K.O's 0
Posts: 346
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Post by BuzzKill on Jul 16, 2010 5:38:53 GMT -5
I love this drop, only problem is that it sounds incomplete.......9/10
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 16, 2010 6:08:22 GMT -5
is orta agree with Buzz here a littyle coz it leaves me sorta wanting more!!!!
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TURTLE
Still Standin
Text Battle
2 - 1
K.O's 2
Posts: 262
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Post by TURTLE on Jul 16, 2010 8:47:17 GMT -5
I figured you were going to be a threat to this site. Thats not a bad thing, dont get me wrong but ya, you know. .
Your verse was an excellent write and ya I know we all sound like a broken record, yada, yada, ya.
But I felt that it should have kept going unfourtunatly all we could write was 8 bars. You should pick this back up and drop the rest in the written drops section.
Very enjoyable read, good shyt LYR!
9/10
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Post by Game on Jul 16, 2010 10:45:41 GMT -5
Good story lyris.
Nice structure and flow.
Them multis were bringin it together well.
I used to get roughed up by my step-dads when I was a young kid so
I definitely feel this drop.
I think that you did a damn good job of cramming this situation in 8 bars, so therefore it's not incomplete in my eyes at all.
I seen a couple of places that didn't rhyme, I know it was intentional, but I didn;t like them parts. So it falls short of perfect to me
I give this verse a 9/10
Good Job
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Post by Kral Majales on Jul 19, 2010 3:37:58 GMT -5
Woahh. There I was thinking you were just overcritical and a bit cocky but damn thats a good drop. There's no such thng as perfection, that's obvious, so I don't think 10 should stand for lyrical perfection, instead it should be for the closest i seen to it on the site. For that reason...
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Post by Game on Jul 19, 2010 10:17:31 GMT -5
All votes are in for this verse.
Total Score: 66
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