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Post by Game on Jul 13, 2010 22:52:02 GMT -5
Go Time!
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 15, 2010 7:34:52 GMT -5
ive just got a coupla things to say-to all the haters that ever come and put my name to shame-/
first up let me get this straight- because you don't know me and ya not me muthafuken mate/
I choose my own fate influence me- be a soverign bruva now/
but as soon as I leave and step back- makes 'em all just wonderin how/
the fuck- did I just do that-because I took a step down
sat back and syntax the facts/
but still the fucken cunts just wanna take me on/
but by the end of the song i got 'em all craving for the bumpin
beats on my longs/...... (LP longpresses)
you better stop and have a think
because I'll smoke 20 bongs before i even step in the ring/
what the fuck- ya take me for
because i got my own free mind and ya cant control my thoughts/
no way will i ever be a slave
stuck in the rat race/
till my last dying days- old n greys/
self sufficiency the way man its the key to the gate
to get yourself out the maze/
fuck the big spiritual craze -its just a phase and you know that
waste of mind searching for yourself
you never get your time back/
STOP Bra because its over- ya thru ya sold ya soul
now look at what their gunna do to you/
shoulda stuck witcha crew/ but ur stupid dude
chasing greenbacks, bitches and expensive food/....
hrmm so when will you ever learn /
snatching at ya money-coz you just aint got enough to burn
matching like the jones is- look back into his-story
you will see never were we ever born free.
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 15, 2010 7:37:03 GMT -5
boot me out already.....lol
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Post by Kral Majales on Jul 15, 2010 8:02:15 GMT -5
It's only supposed to be 16 lines isn't it?
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BuzzKill
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Post by BuzzKill on Jul 15, 2010 8:10:45 GMT -5
*shakes head in shame*
KRiSR, KRiSR, KRiSR........let's see what we have here.
You went over the line limit, lol, that's mistake one. That and your flow is on, then off, on, then off. It's like you knew what you wanted to say but didn't care to make sure it all fit well. To me it starts out fine then ends up just being a bunch of sentences thrown together. This is by far your worst drop EVER! You have the idea but you need work. Don't give up. I'll give it a 4/10.
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 15, 2010 9:38:53 GMT -5
Damn I thought it sounded alright in my head...lol
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BuzzKill
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Post by BuzzKill on Jul 15, 2010 9:41:47 GMT -5
lol don't you hate that?
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Post by Game on Jul 15, 2010 10:13:47 GMT -5
Krisr,
You a kool ass kat and I've learned to like you.
I really wanna see you elevate and not take this shit TOO serious.
Just let this site be an elevator for your skill.
If you gonna be a producer 'you gonna have to know how to flow also,
so that whoever you're workin wit aint a level above you.
You know? Dre can make the beat and he can also spit a tight verse
But,
as far as this tournament:
Homey I stressed and emphasized on the rules as much as possible.
I wish that you would have paid more attention because you broke the tourney rules.
Your verse was supposed to be exactly 16 lines (8 bars).
Since you broke the rules, I'm gonna have to DQ you.
Sorry, no hard feelings and this don't bring no bad blood.
You didn't do no disrespectful or shisty shit, you just did some harmless shit which
unfortunately is enough to get you DQ'd in this situation.
Nothing big, but it's got to be done homey.
Sorry
Read the rules next time
BTW,
I personally liked the verse and was feeling the intensity.
Good shit
BTW,
You're going to need to continue voting on the rest of the battles.
Firstly, because it is stated in the rules that you should have read before
you entered the tourney and
Secondly, because you have already voted in a couple and in order to keep it even 'we need your votes in the rest of em.
Thanks
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Post by TURTLE on Jul 15, 2010 13:12:42 GMT -5
Yo KRiSR im sorry to se you DQ'd out of the tourny so soon. Let me give ya a crash course on bar structure real quick. First off I thought your verse had a good story to it and I also could sense your on and off issues. . Now, most people refer to 1 bar being 2 lines. Therefore, if 8 bars were the bar limit it would be 16 lines. Heres an ex. . very simple. The dog ran and high jumped over the fence into a pool/ < line 1
climbed out lookin like he ate a shoe with strings of drool// < line 2 Hence, 1 bar. . also noticed how both lines are of equal length as well. I hope this helps you man. Keep at it and stick with the advice that we give, we wont stear you wrong. 4/10. |
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 15, 2010 19:54:08 GMT -5
yeah I was confusing bar lines a littlle i think.... it was just a real angry sorta freestyle.....
thanks for all your help Lads its appreciated...
"You know? Dre can make the beat and he can also spit a tight verse"
Im not sure a agree here though, BiG. I used to have great respect for Dre for that exact reason, but then I found out
Jay-Z ghosts writes for him...... Now that I am not a fan of that evil satanic rocafella shit at all.....
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BuzzKill
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Post by BuzzKill on Jul 15, 2010 19:57:30 GMT -5
yeah I was confusing bar lines a littlle i think.... it was just a real angry sorta freestyle..... thanks for all your help Lads its appreciated... "You know? Dre can make the beat and he can also spit a tight verse" Im not sure a agree here though, BiG. I used to have great respect for Dre for that exact reason, but then I found out Jay-Z ghosts writes for him...... Now that I am not a fan of that evil satanic rocafella shit at all..... lol Not you too! There are a lot of producers who can spit sick. KRiSR will be one. |
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 15, 2010 20:03:12 GMT -5
lol wat u mean not me too?  ? haha my spits are actually sick like vomit sick.... haha not good |
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BuzzKill
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Post by BuzzKill on Jul 15, 2010 20:13:50 GMT -5
You believe that whole Jay-Z shit.
You'll be a sick spitter soon.
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Post by KRiSR on Jul 15, 2010 20:25:22 GMT -5
oh yeah dont get me started Lad thats half what my tourny verse was about..... the muthafukaz took tupac out da game coz they knew they couldnt defeat him......
its all evil.... the symbolism, the mind control... the manipulation... i got no respaect for those cunts....!!!!!
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? haha my spits are actually sick like vomit sick.... haha not good